The stairs of my local subway station look like this:
The platform is on the second floor of the station, so when people get off the train, they walk down one of two staircases which then converge and everyone walks towards the exit. This means that if you go down either staircase, you end up facing everybody else walking down the stairs on the opposite side.
Once, I saw a man fall down these stairs. I was on the opposite side and close to the bottom, so it was very close to me. It wasn't a long fall. He didn't tumble or hit his head or anything. It was maybe the last few steps and he just went forward, slapping his hands on the ground. He didn't get up right away.
There was a long moment where myself and everyone nearby took a second to consider what to do. In this moment, my thoughts came rapidly, but I focused on one question: Should I help?
Seems easy, right? Especially as you read this story. Here are the facts of the situation: "This dude fell down. He is not getting up. He needs help and you can help him." At the moment though, there were so many things going through my mind:
Should I treat him as though he might be seriously hurt? He was an older man, so there was the possibility that was true. However, he might be offended if I implied that he was weak and frail. Is it better to laugh it off, hey buddy looks like you had a bit of a tumble there, eh? But then, what if that gets received as laughing at him and not with him? Maybe he doesn't even want help. Maybe if I talk to him and act like him falling was a big deal, he would be more embarrassed. Maybe he would be angry. Maybe his fall wasn't even that bad, and me acting like it was worth noticing would be cringey and embarrassing. I stood there for a second longer than I should have, neither assisting nor ignoring, until someone else came and gave him a hand to stand up.
I have thought about and still think about this moment very often. Was the prospect of helping someone who fell down so terrifying to me? How could the act of kindness be so frightening?
After that, I noticed myself having similar reactions to other people in public looking like they need help. If I see an old lady walking with heavy grocery bags, I tell myself that she doesn't want to be bothered. If I see a houseless person on the street, I tell myself that I'm too busy to stop to help. If I see someone looking lost, I tell myself that I might make them uncomfortable if I approach them.
I make thousands of excuses for myself every day, and I imagine that I'm not alone in this. I'm guessing it's a typical reaction to seeing anyone in distress in public. There must be something in our reptile brains that tells us, "Helping people comes with a risk. Don't do it if you don't have to."
It's a stupid fear, because it's totally baseless. Only in very, very rare circumstances would being kind to someone have a negative impact on you. But then, nobody wants to be the one person who tries to do something kind and then have it come back to haunt them.
So yeah, Creep is pretty good.
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